Monday, December 31, 2012
This year and the next.
If we had not been traveling so much the past two weeks, I would probably have a great "Year in Review" post already up, maybe even with links to past posts! That would have been awesome of me, right? But instead I'm on Aaron's iPad while he's driving us home on the last day of the year.
And while it might not seem like such a big deal to have my husband in the driver's seat, it is for us. This time last year we didn't have the new car, so all transportation was up to me. A lot of our life was up to me. Now we have some independence, our own place... one could say that things are looking normal. Ish. Some days. This past year was not as kind as I (thought) I needed it to be, but we are light years from where we were January 1, 2012.
He's been set back in rehab half a dozen times. Drug changes, serious sleep problems, three wheelchairs, two revision surgeries on his nubs, unrelenting pain, a finger that literally fell open with infection after surgery, amazing trips to Colorado and Cincinnati, and two sets of legs we have arrived at the end of the first full post-blast calendar year.
Last year, I had hopes and ideas of where we were headed. I know better this year. I don't have a shred of real hope left in me. I would like to speculate that Aaron will complete rehab, not have any more surgeries, take some classes, get an internship, get hired, retire, and we can start looking for a home. Even on my most unciorn-rainbow-poop days I do not even dare to dream about a kid. That would just be ridiculous.
But this year, I just... don't. I have more resolve about my abilities to handle our new "us" life and finishing the semester than I do about anything else. In fact, there isn't even anything else. Aaron will go to rehab 5 days a week, he will continue to progress, we will not allow the Army and VA to retire him out before he is discharged by his physical therapist (yes, there has been talk of that), and that's all we can plan for at this moment. Anything else... isn't even a wink in our eyes yet. We can't.
But we bought some tickets to see Imagine Dragons with Atlas Genius in February and The Dropkick Murphys in March. He's going to watch the Winter X-Games in a few weeks. I start a short session class day after tomorrow, then full-time spring classes start near the end of the month. Oh, and we'll have Charlie Buckles back. I don't know what this year holds for us, but I know tonight will be fun with friends and tomorrow is just another day with my very-much alive, incredibly funny, smart, and badass warrior husband. What else do I need to consider?